Apeshit Teabagging Nitwits

Cuss words. “The quality or state of being profane.” See also desecration or disrespect toward an object of religious veneration. One utterance can be a single word, a general expression or gesture. The Chinese tend to be more poetic than Americans or their European cousins, dashing insulting haiku in rude and vulgar strains. Blasphemy is handy for damning one person or his whole frakking family. And here’s a conundrum – why is it that profanity from a man is more acceptable than from a woman? Shit man… equality!

In polite cultures, profanity can involve taboo words. Over the course of time, some words that were originally considered profane have become much less offensive. Meanwhile, some formerly common words have worked their way into profanity. Still others, like racial or ethnic epithets, is considered hate speech generally not tolerated by society, unless you have a screw loose for purity.

Anyhow, there is poetry found profanity – even American. I think of it as folk poetry laced into American heritage like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Common, but also very much a part of the cultural fabric. And its absence is pretentious and unnatural.

There is an etymological a pattern to cussing. Like my dad (and his father), anything and anybody can be a “sonovabitch.”  The poetry of cussing requires that the user know how to intensify his feeling with certain adjectives. If “sonuvabitch” is treated as a root, then you can plainly see the transformation:

A friend in an amusing situation may be called “that damn sonovabitch” or just “that sonovabitch” followed by a loud guffaw.  An acquaintance that you know nothing about except for an amusing situation may be labeled “that goddamn sonovabitch” or “that damn sonovabitch” depending upon the given situation.

A person with whom the community holds a general disregard may be “that stupid goddamn dumass sonovabitch” or simply “dumbass sonovabitch.” A person who has earned some measure of infamy may be labeled “that fucking goddamn stupid sonovabitch” or “fucking stupid sonovabitch” or “stupid fucking sonovabitch” depending on the user’s mood and object of notoriety.

The next level of language engenders levels of personal irritation especially when theses words are added to the mix: “socialist,” “democrat,” and (my favorite of late), “liberal.” which may or may not be combined with variations of “Shit for brains socialist,” “Shithead democrat,” or “dumbass liberal” depending upon the intended purpose and prose, and our all time favorite: the Libtard.

Of course, this socialist liberal may retort with his own poetry in uttering something along the lines of “most of these apeshit teabagging nitwits wouldn’t know a serious fucking issue if it came up and bit them in their goddamned stupid asses.”

By the way, the whole point of this exercise is to display my general disdain for all things TP. I have yet to meet one that grasps the mere comprehension of (a) true socialism nor (b) the meaning of liberalism.  And THEY think Obama is their problem?


Women Jokes

Source: Wikipedia
Source: Wikipedia

I have collected dozens of them. I never had a problem with women. Never bought into the “battle of the sexes,” I just like jokes. Especially the funny ones. Like this one – sent to me by a true believer in the battle – a woman, by the way – who relishes every example, every bit of evidence of the “male dominated society.” The jokes, she says, are more about how we perceive societal interaction than how we actually behave. “In real life,” she says, “people tend to be more cruel. The jokes allow us to laugh about it.”

LOL…  yah. Okay, whatever. This list is titled “Women are like…”


They always think that they must have the last word.

Saran Wrap…

Useful but clingy.

Credit cards…

You never know how much you spend on them, and when you find out all you can do is cry.

Hi-tech gadgets

It takes forever to figure out how they work and a better gadget always comes along once you’ve gotten used to your old one.


Even the smallest foible is stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

Cell phones…

Handy, but beware of the roaming charges.

The stock market…

Alluring but impossible to predict, and they will bankrupt you if you’re not careful.

Fax machines…

Useful for one very specific purpose, otherwise they’re just high-maintenance paperweights.

Political campaign contributors…

If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.


They’re always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

Country western songs…

They’re annoying, they all sound alike, and if you really listen to them you’ll get depressed and drink a lot.


At first they come at you all wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house, your car, your cat, your boat…

So much for that.

That g_oddamn stupid fa__ot sunovabitch

Source: Wikipedia
This photo has nothing to do with the article. I just thought it was really cool

Let me tell you a little story about a friend of mine who is a lifetime Texan. He served with my dad in the Air Force as a NCO during Korea (replaced propellers on B29 bombers). He had a short stint as some kind of intelligence officer during Vietnam. He retired to a small ranch southwest of Amarillo that’s been in his family for some untold decades. We talk on the phone every once in a while; he doesn’t own a “g__damn computer” and doesn’t have time for the “g__damn Internet.”

You see, old Thurman Kemp is a man who walks firmly and proudly in the rut of his ancestors. His “internet” is a white and red 1974 Ford pickup has a gun rack in the cab with two weapons: an old 12-gauge pump and a baseball bat. He takes the truck (and accessories) to the local watering hole for ‘chat sessions’ that he says is better than that “g_damn CNN or any other of those fa__ot journalists” – present company excluded. The bat says he is ready for anybody he doesn’t like that needs an “impression”; the shotgun is there to help emphasize any point that the bat fails to make.

He has brown hands that look like cracked mud and lines on his face like old leather. He still clings to the dream that history will eventually see that LBJ was one of this country’s best presidents. He is a bitter-minded, opinionated, foul-mouthed, beer swilling old fart that loves “old” country music (“none of that g_ddamn sonovabitch fa__ot music” that the “young humps” listen to these days).

Now that you have a firm picture in your mind of this old Texan’s outward character, you can appreciate what he has to say about Mr. Perry’s recent tirade about secession: “That g_oddamn stupid fa__ot sunovabitch is right off the book – made us [Texans] look like we’re nuttier than a sack of weasels. I don’t need that kind of f__king grief, I gotta tell you. Not one f__king g_ddamn bit. That f__king stupid treasonous sonovabitch fa__ot is f__king gone, I’ll tell you whut.”

I’m no Texan and I really don’t know Rick Perry from a hole in the ground, but I get the point, tell you whut.

Why is this man smiling?

Read the following edited transcript from last night’s ANDERSON COOPER (CNN) segment. Show title: “O.J. Simpson Arrested in Alleged Robbery Case” — Aired September 17, 2007 – 22:00 ET. Link to the full transcript is located at the end.
Another Mug of Oj
OJ’s got quite an SEG (shit eating grin). Guess he has practice…


COOPER: Now Simpson is under arrest facing charges that could send him to prison for many years.

On his latest mug shot, a grin for the camera. One legal expert thinks she knows why, saying normal people don’t smile when they’re charged with serious crimes.

MURPHY: If that’s not the behavior of a sociopath, I don’t know what is.


COOPER: She says Simpson’s a sociopath. Let see what our expert thinks. With me now is Dr. Drew Pinsky, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the USC School of Medicine.

What about it, Dr. Drew? A lot of people called him a sociopath. What do you think?

DR. DREW PINSKY, ASSISTANT CLERICAL PROFESSOR OF PSYCHIATRY, USC SCHOOL OF MEDICINE: Well, I don’t know about him particularly. But I think it’s important for us all to understand what a sociopath is. And you can decide for yourself.

A sociopath is someone who has difficulty deciding the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong, who tends to be very grandiose, who really cannot appreciate that other people have feelings or agency other than what he needs from him.

And they become very exploitative of other people, can be violent and aggressive. They tend to do drugs and alcohol. It’s — it’s a spectrum of disorder he does kind of fit. And it’s possible he does.

The only other thing that can really create that same kind of manifestation is really drug addiction. And you know, if somebody does manifest circumstances and behaviors like that, you almost hope they’re drug addicts, because at least that’s treatable. Sociopathy, unfortunately, is not.

They tend to have run-ins with the law. They tend to have more trouble. They tend to keep going until something stops them.

COOPER: Dr. Drew, stick around. We’re going to talk to you just after this commercial break, along with Ryan Smith and Jeffrey Toobin.


With me again, our CNN senior legal analyst, Jeffrey Toobin, sports and entertainment attorney Ryan Smith, who’s also the co-host of “My Two Cents” on BET, and Dr. Drew Pinsky of USC’s School of Medicine.

Jeff, I just want to play a little bit more of this audiotape, reported to be from the incident in the room. TMZ.com is where it’s from. Let’s play that.


SIMPSON: Don’t let nobody out this room. (expletive deleted) Think you can steal my (expletive deleted) and sell it?


SIMPSON: Don’t let nobody out of here. (expletive deleted), you think you can steal my (expletive deleted)?


COOPER: Does it surprise you that, Jeff, that O.J. Simpson, who has had so many brushes with the law, would put himself in a situation like this?

TOOBIN: No, because of the incredible narcissism and sense of entitlement that he has always reflected in his behavior.

This is a guy, since he was a junior at USC has been one of the most famous people in the United States. He’s been coddled. He’s been told he was great. And he beat this case, and he left the trial with a smirk on his face, and it’s never gone away. And he just thinks that the world has to accommodate to him, and largely it has.

COOPER: Right. I mean, is that the fact that he is this — was this sports icon and was sort of coddled?

RYAN SMITH, CO-HOST, BET’S “MY TWO CENTS”: I think that’s a lot of it. I think we talk about this difference between right and wrong. When you’re coddled like that, particularly an athlete, there’s the sense all the time that you’re right. Everything you do is right.

When I hear this and when I hear O.J. conducting his own sting operation, it’s not so much that I see it as him thinking he’s above the law but I see it as him making — I’m right in this case, so I’m going to lead these guys to this room and get my stuff back.

COOPER: And when you see that mug shot with that little smile, that’s what you think, too?

SMITH: I think there’s — yes, I think there’s a right perspective.

TOOBIN: There is a deep personality defect there. You know, Tiger Woods is coddled. Michael Jordan is coddled. And they’re fine, upstanding, law abiding citizens. This guy, there’s something wrong with, and there has been for a long time.

COOPER: Doctor Pinsky, you know, despite a number of legal problems, this guy only has one misdemeanor conviction, which was beating Nicole years before she was killed. Do you think this has had an impact on his behavior, I mean, the fact that he has, you know, not been punished for a number of actions which he has been involved with?

PINSKY: Right. It’s the same thing I see with other people that have behavior problems. We tend to think in our society that somehow people cry out for help. They’re looking to be stopped. They’re not. They just keep going until they have to stop. And I think that’s going on here.

And look, one other point about sociopaths and severe narcissists. They are a pleasure to be around. They are wonderful and entertaining. They are the life of the party, and they can really make you feel good. God help you if you cross them.

COOPER: I want to play — Jeffrey.

TOOBIN: That is so true. And let’s not forget the obvious here. He killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife. I mean, and I believe — and I devoted years of my life to this subject — and many people believe it, he killed those people. And he got away with it, which is the ultimate putting one over on the system.

So having achieved that triumph, you know, everything else is easy.

SMITH: Taking it away from that so much, I wouldn’t really — this is a totally different circumstance. And here, he’s looking at it like, you know what? If something — if something is mine, just like any other citizen in the world, why should I not be able to go get it in my way?

He even said, you know, “People told me to involve the police, but every time I involve the police, it becomes an O.J. story,” which is ironic because now it’s become an O.J. story because he didn’t involve.

COOPER: I want to play something that Alfred Beardsley said on “LARRY KING”. This is a guy who was in the room, one of these memorabilia collectors who witnessed the whole thing. Let’s play what he said.


LARRY KING, HOST, “LARRY KING LIVE”: How many guns were involved?

ALFRED BEARDSLEY, WITNESS: I only saw — I know there were two. But I saw one. You know, this was a very small room in this seedy hotel that Riccio was staying at. And I only saw one. This guy came over and ordered me at gunpoint to pack the items up in the boxes we brought them in. I refused. And I was sitting in a chair, and I was told to get the “F” up, get the “F” up and I did get up.


COOPER: It just doesn’t get more surreal or sleazy than this. I got to tell you. I mean, I’m going to take a shower, frankly, after doing this hour. But how much trouble is he in? I mean…

TOOBIN: That’s real trouble. You can’t — I mean, you can’t go into a hotel room and wave a gun at somebody and say, “Pack stuff up and give it to me,” even if it’s yours. That’s not how the system works.

SMITH: The only problem…

COOPER: Ryan, finish.

SMITH: The only problem I have with that is this is the same guy who, a couple days ago, was saying, “I don’t want to go to Vegas to participate in this trial. O.J. apologized to me. Water under the bridge.”

So a defense attorney is going to look at that, someone who’s defending O.J., and is going to say that’s what he was saying now. Now look at the story he’s telling. And that’s going to cause problems.



Full transcripts can be found here: